The last kiss

You told me I smelled like love, that you could build walls so high around me, nothing in the world could harm me. You loved my voice. A voice you could recognise anywhere. You whispered these words as we slow danced in the kitchen, your hand against the small of my back and I had never felt so safe. You kissed me like there was no tomorrow. You said I tasted like fresh strawberries. I loved how you held me so tight against you like I was disappear. "The moon" you said. You could never get tired of looking at me.

But maybe it was never enough to hold you for long. You kissed my lips one last time murmuring apologies and I stood still trying to figure words to stop you. Nothing was ever enough to stop you from pressing on the pedal so hard that you were gone in seconds. You said you loved me, and then you broke me.

Nothing

It wasn't until you left that I realised you can survive on whiskey shots and sleeping pills and feel nothing for days.

Marry a girl who wants to know about you. Who will listen to you at 2a.m when you can't fall asleep because you have an important day ahead and who will kiss you in front of your friends. Marry a girl who knows every single detail about you, be it as small as your favourite colour or how much sugar you like in your coffee. Marry a girl who is crazy yet can be smarter than you when required. And doesn't that make her all the more desirable? Marry a girl who isn't afraid of letting you under her skin and who makes waking up on mondays exciting. Marry a girl you wish to see ten years down the line when you're old and weak but she, and only she can make you feel young again. Who still smells like fresh winter mornings and tastes like strawberries. Marry a girl you won't regret being with during your last few days.

Marry her and don't let her go.

I'll write about you when it ends. I'll write about the colour of your eye and the way you play with your hands when you get nervous. I'll write about out first kiss and how I felt like I could take over world. I'll write about those songs you sang to me and the midnight talks. I'll right about your blue faded jeans and our first dance. I'll write about how you prefer summer over winter and grey over black. I'll write about your mother. I'll write about your hate for pancakes and the sound of your voice when you first wake up.

I'll write about how you started to fall for that girl you met at the back of the bar. I'll write about our first fight and how I cried until I fell asleep. I'll write about the smell of your perfume mixed with hers and how your lips wouldn't taste the same anymore. I'll write about the nights you never returned home. I'll write about your side of the bed. I'll write about how you forgot my birthday because you were too busy to rember hers. I'll write about the day you finally walked away.

So when you're gone, I'll turn you into poetry.

Permanent

Not everything in life is permanent. He might tell you how beautiful you look in that red dress and sing promises to you in the rain and you'll feel like you've never felt before. You may speak about the colour of the bedroom and you'll write a book about how you fell in love and your first kiss. But just because everything seemed picture perfect and he promised you the world, it does not mean he'll stay, when he falls in love with that girl he met at the coffee shop. He might have kissed promises over your scars, but that doesn't mean he won't do the same to her. And darling, just because he danced with you in the rain, doesn't mean he won't kiss her under the stars. And it's gonna hurt. It'll hurt till you can't breathe anymore and you'll feel like your entire world came crashing down. But it gets better honey. And you'll forget him. So next time when you see him with her, it won't hurt anymore.

To let go

Pins and needles
And words that bled
That was all that was left of our love
We gave in
To sweet good bye's
Blowing kisses
Which would heal us someday
Our love a wild storm
Silencing our unheard screams
While we tore at our skins
Engraving promises that we'd never keep
Creating masterpieces
That'd end up in the dust
For all we'll ever know
We hold on
To let go.

(You'll can follow me on insta too. My account is princess_dairies)

Her

"You don't get it, and maybe you never will. Maybe because you don't see the way her eyes light up every time she sees you or the way she tries so hard to be good enough for you. You don't see how she pulls her skirt up because she knows that's the way you like it or the way she is always around you. You don't see how she waits for you every morning and how disappointed she gets when you don't turn up. You don't see how she builds up courage to talk to you but then turns around and walks away. You don't see how she gets so upset every time you kiss that other girl but still holds on. You don't see her laugh, her eyes, her golden brown hair and the way she crunches up her nose every 5 seconds. Oh, and you haven't seen her being smart. You haven't seen her with her geeky glasses on and reading a book. You haven't seen her all messed up and you haven't seen her being crazy. That's when I can't take my eyes off of her."